4/29 Bout Scores

New York Shock Exchange - 109
Dirty Dozen (Pioneer Valley Male Travel Team) - 51

Western Mass Destruction (Pioneer Valley Female Travel Team) - 86
Hub City Hellrazors (New Jersey Dirty Dames) - 58

Detailed Bout Write-up Forthcoming.

Meet the Shock Exchange: Wyatt Trash

Name: Wyatt Trash
Numero: 668 (Neighbor of The Beast)
Height: 6'2"
Weight: Ten pounds of crap in a nine pound bag

Birth'n Place: Last trailer on the left

Dream ride: Camaro
Actually drives: Daddy's old Gremlin

Dream house: Double-wide
Currently lives: Daddy's old Gremlin

Favorite past time: NASCAR & beers, shootin' stuff
Usual past time: Huffin' stuff

Favorite sport: Derby
Best sport: Edward 40hands

Likes: Cousins
Dislikes: Moreons

Debut This Sunday (4/29)!

New York Shock Exchange Debuts This Sunday (4/29)!

We have completed our basic training and stand ready to skate in our first bout.

Come on out to see history as Men’s Roller Derby arrives on the Flat Track!

Tickets still available here: http://www.njdirtydames.com/bouts.asp

Meet the Shock Exchange: Patrick Bateman

Name: Patrick Bateman
Number: West 81st Street
Height: 5'7"
Weight: 168

Likes: Reservations at Dorsia
Dislikes: Business cards that are clearly superior to mine.

Bio: You like Huey Lewis and the News ?
They're early work was a little too new wave for my taste.
But when Sports came out in '83,
I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically.
The whole album has a clear, crisp sound,
and a new sheen of consummate professionalism...
that really gives the songs a big boost.
He's been compared to Elvis Costello,
but I think Huey has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humor.
Yes, it is.
In '87, Huey released this--
Fore, their most accomplished album.
I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip To Be Square."
The song's so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics.
But they should, because it's not just about...
the pleasures of conformity and the importance of trends.
It's also a personal statement about the band itself.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to return some videotapes.

Meet the Shock Exchange: Rinkworm

Name: Rinkworm
Number: 11
Height: 5'9"
Weight: somewhere between 150 and 160

Bio: After trying to score points by passing through the pack at various jobs, schools and baseball games, Rinkworm learned that you can only get points for passing through the pack in the sport they call “roller derby”. After coming to the realization that years of potential point scoring have been wasted, Rinkworm wants the Shock Exchange to score lots of points really fast. Rinkworm will use skates to go fast, or slow, depending on the situation. Yeah.

Meet the Shock Exchange: Jonathan R

Name: Jonathan R

Number: 6

Height: 5'9"

Weight: 150 lbs

Bio: Jonathan R was born and raised in the suburbs of Chicago. At an early age, he learned to roller skate with his father and competed as an artistic roller figure skater. In high school he played 4 years of football and ran 4 years of track. Later, after moving to New York City, Jonathan R returned to his roller skating roots and began frequenting Empire Skate, the Skate Key, the Roxy, and the Central Park Dance Skaters Circle. Since 2005 he has volunteered as a referee and coach for Gotham Girls Roller Derby under the moniker "Flying Squirrel." In 2006 he began organizing the men's roller derby team that would come to be known as the New York Shock Exchange. Currently, he serves as captain.

Tickets Now Available for New York City Derby Shuttle!

Tickets for the roundtrip shuttle bus from New York City to our debut bout (Sunday, Apr. 29th) are now available here: http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/13283

Reservations for the limited seats on the shuttle bus must be made in advance so buy now!

The timetable of NY Derby Shuttle:
5:00 pm - depart NYC @ 7th Av & 32nd St/Penn Station
6:30 pm - arrive Kendall Park Skating Rink

10:15p - depart Kendall Park Skating Rink
10:45 pm - arrive Court Tavern New Brunswick (After Party!)
12:00 am - depart New Brunswick
1:00 am - arrive in New York @ 7th Av & 32nd St/Penn Station

Sorry, no alcohol or food allowed on the shuttle!

Meet the Shock Exchange: Half Fast

Name: Half Fast
Number: Aleph 1
Height: negligible
Weight: questionable

Gadfly and raconteur, Half Fast spends his days thinking long and hard about very important things that matter very little to very many people. He claims not to have been present during that incident in Shanghai, but photographic evidence confirms his role in the affair in Marakesh. He is pursued by secret organizations around the world that continue to mistake him for a certain bookish, nondescript academic.

Meet the Shock Exchange: Snausage

Name: Snausage
Number: 15
Height: 5'10"
Weight: handy 2640 oz. snack pack

Guaranteed Analysis
Crude Protein: Min. 15.0%
Crude Fat: Min 7.0%
Crude Fiber: Max. 1.5%
Moisture: Max 29.0%
Scrappiness: Endless reservoir

Wheat flour, beef, soy flour, corn syrup, water
sufficient for processing, propylene glycol, liver,
animal fat (BHA used as preservatives), dried cheese
product, chicken by-product meal, calcium sulfate,
potassium cloride, salt, phosphoric acid, vegetable
oil, titanium dioxide, garlic powder, sorbic acid
(used as a preservative), potassium sorbate (used as a
preservative), natural smoke flavor, yellow 6, yellow
5, red 40, BHA (used as a preservative), citric acid
(used as a preservative).

Available in four delicious flavors: Beef, Beef &
Cheese, Bacon & Cheese, and Beer.

Meet the Shock Exchange: Psycho Billy

Name: Psycho Billy
Psycho Billy on MySpace

Born in the Back of a 57' Chevy, Psycho Billy was raised by circus freaks!

Meet the Shock Exchange: MotorPsycho

Name: MotorPsycho
Number: 127
Height: 6'
Weight: 150

Once a well-mannered child, the boy was run down by a mysterious rider on a Harley. Brought back to life by a voodoo cab driver, he was reborn as MotorPsycho.

Introducing the New York Shock Exchange

Back Row (L to R): Slopshire Slasher, Half Fast, Maulin' Brando, Brawlin' Oats, Psycho Billy, Wolfgang Von Stomp, Jonathan R, Wyatt Trash, Patrick Bateman, Ghetz Moore

Front Row (L to R): T-stop Tornado, MotorPsycho, Junk Bond, Snausage, Rinkworm, Darth Invader

Not Pictured: Gordon Gecko, Jefferee
*Photo by C. Burkard